Marijuana Policy Project

I've had multiple sclerosis for 20 years. My legs tighten up as soon as I get out of bed. Navigating my apartment with my walker is painful, and after a full day, my neck, shoulders and back are strained. I have a tight band-like feeling around my abdomen and experience constant numbness and tingling all over my body. Waves of fatigue hit me, and sometimes my feet and calves feel a burning cold.

Until four years ago I took over 30 pharmaceuticals for the many symptoms of M.S. None of them worked for me and I felt miserable. Prednisone for symptom flare-ups gave me a swollen face and acne; Baclofen for muscle spasticity reduced my heart rate; I became depressed and depleted and suicide crossed my mind. Then, I tried cannabis.

I'd smoked pot in college and was familiar with its calming effects. I'd heard it helped certain ailments, so I tried it for MS. It helped with spasticity and insomnia, but the smoke gave me headaches. I researched ways to ingest cannabis, including baking with it. I tried a recipe, began eating 1-inch-cube-sized brownies three times a day and immediately noticed improvements. Symptoms became tolerable. I eliminated all pharmaceuticals and was no longer depressed or suicidal. But I lived in constant anxiety and fear of being arrested.

I started to speak out about the benefits of cannabis. I became a board member of the Illinois National Organization to Reform Marijuana Laws, and the Illinois Drug Education and Legislative Reform. I testified to pass a medical cannabis bill and began telling my story to local media outlets and groups, but I was discreet and afraid of putting my name or face out there. I thought I could be anonymous. Then I heard about Jonathan Magbie, from Washington, D.C.

Jonathan's paralysis prevented him from breathing on his own, and he needed private nursing care. He was stopped on suspicion of drug dealing and arrested for marijuana possession. He told the judge he wouldn't stop using the drug, because it made him feel good. He was jailed for 10 days without needed care. Four days into his 10-day sentence, he died.

This terrified and disgusted me, but made me realize I had to move through my fear and not hide my need. I had to speak the truth for me, Julie Falco, for Jonathan Magbie, and for all the other people out there who use cannabis to manage challenging illnesses.